Young Life

I took some Cedar Ridge High School girls to Windy Gap this past weekend and as I'm sitting here typing this I can't help but think how special Young Life camps are. Emma, a girl on my young life team said it well, "There's just something about Windy Gap...you walk away completely exhausted yet completely refreshed." Young Life has sets up camps in a way that the daily distractions of high school kids are pushed aside in order to show them what real life is about. It's not Windy Gap's beauty, (although Windy Gap is beautiful) its far deeper then beauty. Many places and things are beautiful to the eye but you walk away unchanged because beauty in and of itself is shallow. The peacefulness and serenity found at Young Life camps is something you can't put into words, I am convinced it is holy ground.
If I knew beforehand the things I would have to sacrifice as a young life leader I probably would not have signed up for such an adventure. However, I can honestly say NOTHING in college has been sweeter and more worth it.
God has taught me more then I could ever put into words, but probably the biggest thing I am continuing to learn and discover is that even in my walk with the Lord I am still in rags; my best prayers are still stained with sin; my receiving of the Spirit is colored with selfishness; and my ability to lead apart from God's grace will fail. I'm incredibly prideful. I'm in the process of learning again that I am pretty mediocre at everything. I, in and of myself, really have nothing to offer the world and whatever few things I claim to be "good" at, my faults multiply all the more. Not only is the Lord teaching me about Him but also who I am along the way. In leading Young Life, I'm beginning to see how small I am in comparison to the Lord, and I have never felt so insignificant and humbled. Despite what I may think, God doesn't need me. God would move, change, and work in crazy, incredible ways without me and anything that I bring to the table someone else could too. He doesn't need me but He wants me. He wants my meager "talents" and "gifts". When I finally came to this realization all the pressure to be the "best leader" I can be was lifted off my shoulders and I am now able to see that Jesus is...Jesus does...Jesus works. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...NOT Mary Norris.
We spend so much time trying to fill our lives with things that we hope will bring us fulfillment. I have truly tasted and experienced full and abundant life. God has used Young Life to show me His face through so many people (going all the way back to when I did work crew summer of 06). I have made so many friends within the Young Life circle (in both high school and college) and I have felt and seen the love of God immensely. It's been so much fun to live this journey with people who are passionate about sharing the good news of Jesus Christ. What a privilege and blessing it is to be able to love on high school girls and walk through life with them. I've found there is nothing more exciting to share than the truth of God's loving embrace upon one's life. It really is true that the times in my life I have experienced the greatest joy is when I gave it away.
I have so many questions about what the future might hold but something excites me in these questions of uncertainty. Something invites me to loosen my tight grip on the life I call my own and instead gives me an image of what it means to give it away.

"The fundamental building blocks of the kingdom are relationships. Not programs, systems, or productivity but inconvenient, time-consuming, intrusive relationships. The kingdom is built on personal involvement that disrupt schedules, and drain energy. When I enter into redemptive relationships with others, I lose much of my "capacity to produce desired results with a minimum expenditure of energy, time, money, or materials" In short, relationships sabotage my efficiency. A part of me dies. Is this perhaps what our Lord meant when He said we must lay down our lives for each other?"
-Theirs is the Kingdom by Robert D. Lupton

I say...God says

You say: 'It's impossible'
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)

You say: 'I'm too tired'
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: 'Nobody really loves me'
God says: I love you
(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )

You say: 'I can't go on'
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: 'I can't figure things out'
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5- 6)

You say: 'I can't do it'
God says: Through ME you can do all things
( Philippians 4:13)

You say: 'I'm not able'
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: 'It's not worth it'
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )

You say: 'I can't forgive myself'
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: 'I can't manage'
God says: I will supply all your needs
( Philippians 4:19)

You say: 'I'm afraid'
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: 'I'm not smart enough'
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: 'I feel all alone'
God says: I will never leave you nor forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)

Reflections on Haiti

What happened in Haiti was and is devastating. So why does God allow this kind of destruction if He loves us? Especially in a country where 80% of its people were already living in poverty?
If Jesus has the power to calm the storm, "Who is this? Even the winds and the sea obey Him." (Mark 4:41), as well as the power to control all the elements then why does He allow things like tsunami's, earthquakes, and hurricanes to happen?
The tsunami tragedy in Asia, Hurricane Katrina in 2005, and now 7 days ago the earthquake in Haiti has many people questioning God's goodness. Adam Donyes, the K-2 men's assistant director, covers these issues really well in his blog so I'm gonna share what he had to say:

The Word states that Christ holds all of nature together (Col. 1:16-17). Could God prevent natural disasters? Absolutely! Does God sometimes influence the weather? Yes, as we see in Deuteronomy 11:17 and James 5:17. Numbers 16:30-34 shows us that God sometimes causes natural disasters as a judgment against sin. The book of Revelation describes many events which could definitely be described as natural disasters (Revelation chapters 6, 8, and 16).

Is every natural disaster a punishment from God? Absolutely not. And we should never, ever, ever, presume whether or not we know that a natural disaster is God's judgment. Since God identified Job as the most righteous of men (see Job 1:1, 8; 2:3), the book of Job forever refutes the notion that every tragedy that befalls people is a judgment on their sin. While no one is sinless, and bad things do happen to morally perfect people (because there are no morally perfect people), they can and sometimes do happen to the best people. God is free in our lives, as He was in Job's, to permit personal or natural disasters for His own sovereign purposes without ever being an evildoer.

In much the same way that God allows evil people to commit evil acts, God allows the earth to reflect the consequences sin has had on creation. (Romans 8:19-21) tells us, “The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.” The fall of humanity into sin had effects on everything, including the world we inhabit. Everything in creation is subject to “frustration” and “decay.” Sin is the ultimate cause of natural disasters just as it is the cause of death, disease, and suffering.

The Bible helps us understand why natural disasters take place. It does not tell us why God allows them to occur, so we should never assume that we know why He does! Why did God allow the earthquake in Haiti to kill over 100,000 people? I don't know, none of us do. But I do know such events cause us to contemplate eternity and what occurs after death! Regardless of disaster God is still good. Tragedy doesn't change His goodness, perhaps if we look close enough it actually illuminates even more. The opportunities we possess as the body of Christ to show His hand in the midst of suffering, in the midst of loss, and in the midst of confusion is at its greatest in the midst of natural disasters. We have that opportunity to show His hand now! People in Haiti are re-evaluating what is valuable to them, they are contemplating the meaning of life. They are questioning who or what can be powerful enough to do this. God can, and does, bring great good out of terrible tragedies- Romans 8:28.

A Sweet and Bitter Providence

John Piper is another one of my favorite authors. This man literally makes satan tremble. Here is the promo for his new book, A Sweet and Bitter Providence: Sex, Race, and the Sovereignty of God.


A verse I continually cling to is Romans 8:28: "And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
Did you catch that? in ALL things.
A couple days ago I listened to one of Piper's sermons via podcast titled subjected in hope. Piper poses a few key question: how does the apostle Paul help me suffer well by putting it in a global and universal context? If I'm going to suffer what is the meaning of my suffering in this moment? Stepping back to the much bigger question of why is there suffering in this world?
Some awesome stuff and weighty questions so I highly recommend listening. My favorite thing Piper says is in reference to Romans 8:18 "for I consider the suffering of this present time not worthy to be compared to the glory that will be revealed to us."
God promises us that after this time of futility we will see an all-satisfying beauty- an all beautiful, overwhelming, and powerful greatness. Why do human beings all over the world want to see and experience greatness? We want to go see big majestic mountains or breathtaking grand canyons. Why do we do that? There is something in us that wants bigness and greatness...that wants to see it and get drawn into it...and the meaning of that is God!
This is God's form written, this longing and aching for greatness was made for Him! We want to be surrounded by something great without being destroyed or crushed by it. Well that's the image of God in us that IS COMING in a way that will absolutely blow us away...
...I can hardly wait!

Unanswered Prayers

We pray for protection. We pray for good health. We pray for healing for those who are sick. We pray for things to turn out well in the end. And sometimes they do. Sometimes the Lord heals but other times He chooses not to. It's not because He lacks the power, mercy, or means to do so, it's because He has a different plan. A bigger, better, and eternal plan.
I love the verse 2 Corinthians 1:20 that says "For all the promises of God find their yes in Him. That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory." My soul utters Amen (a "let it be") to Him for His glory in all things. There is a place I can put my hope in that is never deferred. Though I may not get what I think I want or need, instead I get Him! He is a hope that is never deferred.
Unanswered prayers are ultimately for His glory and our good. Doesn't make it any less painful in the moment, but we cling to the One who uses everything good-and everything seemingly bad- to point us to a greater glory...His.

I began praying for precious little Kate McRae the moment I heard her story. Since July, Kate has been battling cancer and just completed her third round of chemo. Kate's parents, as well as millions of people across the country, have diligently been praying for months that God would completely heal Kate this side of heaven. Kate had an MRI a couple days ago to see if the tumor was responding to the treatment and to figure out what the next step in this journey should be.

The results were not what everyone had been praying and hoping for. The MRI revealed that there was still residual tumor in Kate's brain. The positive news is the tumor has shrunk and there is most likely no new growth. The negative being there is still a decent amount of tumor left and the neurosurgeon said his initial instinct is that he would not operate. That isn't his final decision but Kate continues to have a long and arduous battle before her.

One other positive is Kate was able to go home for a few days and resume some semblance of a childhood. Here is an excerpt from a journal entry written by Kate's mom last night:
Tonight it broke my heart as Aaron was praying with the girls and I was with Will. He asked me if Kate had had her picture to see if the tumor was all gone. I told him yes she had. And there was still some there. He started crying and said "mom, why? I keep praying that it would be all gone when they looked! Why didn't God answer my prayer?"
My heart broke knowing that our children at such tender ages were having to learn such hard lessons. Answered and unanswered prayers. Life and death ramifications. We don't know God's plan in all of this. We wish the cancer part of this plan was done. It however is not. So we will continue to pray. Pray that one day Kate will be cancer free here on earth.

Living in the moment

I get a daily meditation email from Henri Nouwen. Here is today's:

Living the Moment to the Fullest
Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict. Patience is not a waiting passivity until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later and somewhere else. Let's be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand.

Love that. I can't keep banking on the future. I can't forget that my plans are not the ones that prevail. My life isn't even my own (Jeremiah 10:23).
I'm not guaranteed tomorrow. I forget that my heart will not beat except by the power of God on my life. If I'm not careful I become so consumed in planning for tomorrow, and all the tomorrows after it that I lose sight of what the Lord has planned for me right now. Right in this moment. It's about Him.

Growing Pains

I recently read this on Lauren Chandler's blog. Lauren is the wife of Matt Chandler, the pastor of the Village Church(posted a video by Matt a couple weeks ago) who was recently diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer.

When I was younger I experienced growing pains in my legs. I remember tossing in bed trying to fall asleep, wrestling with the pain. It hurt.
Things really haven't changed all that much. Growing still hurts. And I still wrestle with it.

"Be patient," says the Lord, "I am growing your roots strong and deep." So strange to feel seemingly conflicting emotions at one time: comfort of knowing the Lord knows and is in control but also a "soul sigh"....a things-are-going-to-sting-for-a-bit-sigh.

He won't let me settle for shallow roots. He knows as soon as a stiff wind blows through the plain that I would be uprooted, lifted from the soil and taken away. He loves me more than that. I don't rejoice in the painful discipline, however, I rejoice in the fruit that painful discipline brings. Obedience leading to joy.
"My child, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives." Hebrews 12:5-6

Father, You desire truth in the inmost parts. And, I must truthfully say that this discipline hurts. This growth isn't as joyful in the process. However, I trust You. I believe You are good and that You do good. I believe that You love me and therefore discipline me. You draw my roots further and further down, breaking hardened earth and pushing back dirt lacking proper nutrients. You beckon me deeper to rich, fertile soil that I may be an oak of righteousness, a planting for the display of Your splendor. Lord, sustain me in the growing, in the stretching, in the groaning. You are good and You do good.

Happy New Year/Decade!

What a year and what a decade. This year I have been learning how good and faithful He always is. It is me that changes, and my wavering affections and emotions. God constantly and consistently loves me and shows me His glory and power. He constantly calls me to joyful obedience.
This decade I graduated elementary, middle, and high school and am now a junior in college. Dated boys, made lots of new friends, grew distant from some and close to others, played on multiple sports teams, broke both ankles, moved out of the house I grew up in, laughed far more then I cried, but the biggest and most important changed happened when I learned what it meant to follow Christ. Nothing about this decade has stayed the same. 10 years ago there were no blackberrys, no iphones, no facebook, no twitter. No wifi, no GPS systems. No tivo or blue ray. No red box or crashing economy. But I find great comfort today in knowing 10 years ago God loved and forgave me, today He loves and forgives me, and 10 years from now He will still love and forgive me.
Who knows what the next 10 years have in store? It seems much scarier then these last 10 years because I always knew what was ahead. After elementary came middle school, after middle came high school, and after high school came college. I always knew the step ahead of me and never really had to walk in blind faith.
Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to do come 2011, but the Lord does. He knows exactly what I'm going to do and who I'm going to do it with. He knows every little detail about my future. I know I can make plans, plans that involve eventually getting married and starting a family but who knows what God has in store. Men plan but the Lord prevails.
He is never late. He never forgets. And He is never wrong. So I am called to trust Him. I'm both excited and nervous because part of me wants to stay. Stay where I know, and where I can clearly see whats next. Change is hard, but change is necessary and is a reminder that the only stability in an unknown and unpredictable world is a God who is crazy, madly, and deeply in love with me. Who has redeemed, rescued, and promised hope for the future.
Lord I pray that as I welcome in a new decade, I would find resolve in a love that is unchanging and unconditional. May I rest in Your grace and Sovereignty in my life like never before.