New Every Morning

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait on Him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:22-26

So much promise in that verse.
"For His compassions never fail, they are new every morning!"
I can't even fathom that kind of love. One of my favorite parts about this verse is that after the writer is reminded of the Lord's great love, they proceed to say "the Lord is my portion; I will wait on Him." At the end the author again says "it is GOOD to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."
I absolutely hate waiting. I'm one of the most impatient people in the world, I hate anything that slows me down, gets in my way, or takes too long. Our world is extremely uncomfortable with delayed satisfaction, and we make every effort to achieve and obtain quick, but often fleeting, ways of gratifying our lives. We realize we hunger, but we fail to realize that our deepest hunger cannot be satisfied by those momentary pleasures.
My mom brought this up during Thanksgiving a couple days ago and its really been something I've thought about a lot during the past few days. God's word calls me to wait. Say what? Yep, its true. The bible is full of people who have to wait. Our deepest longings will only be satisfied by the renewal of God, who is continually making things new, but perhaps not at the speed we desire. Therefore we must wait.
I've been learning recently that waiting on the Lord is not like waiting in line at a store, but more like waiting when I was a child on my birthday when I finally got to rip open my birthday presents. There is hope and expectation, along with the assurance that I do not know what is wrapped under the bows and wrapping paper, but I do know the one who gives the gift and I know that the gift is an expression of the giver's love for me. While we wait on the Lord, we do not wait in fear and anxiety of what might come in the future, we wait with faith and hope in the God who holds the future.

To wait is to learn the spiritual grace of detachment (letting go) the freedom of desire. Not the absence of desire, but desire at rest.
Psalm 131:2 says "But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is with my soul within me."
What a beautiful picture David paints. A young child resting contently against her mother's chest. The child David is describing isn't demanding, isn't frustrated, isn't complaining. There are no insistent tears- the child has learned to wait.
"Detachment (the word) might evoke wrong impressions. It is not a cold, indifferent attitude; not at all. An authentic spiritual understanding of detachment devalues neither desire nor the objects of desire. Instead it aims at correcting one's own anxious grasping in order to free oneself to a committed relationship with God." John Elredge

Real Gold Fears No Fire

So I decided to start this blog just because I love other peoples perspectives. I've enjoyed reading different friends blogs, and love how the Lord encourages us in seeing the transparency of others. My prayer is that you will see a little bit into my heart through this blog. I'm not totally sure what I will write about, just whatever is on my heart.
The title of this blog "real gold fears no fire" was inspired by one of my all time favorite books, Safely Home by Randy Alcorn. If you haven't read it I highly recommend it because its incredible. Quan, the main character, is in a Chinese prison because of his passion for the Lord. In this brief excerpt below Quan is speaking to Ben, an American businessman and Quan's college roommate, who has since college fallen away from the Lord.
"Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.' He taught me that our lives 'quickly pass, and we fly away."
"Sounds morbid," Ben said.
"No, because our life does not end here. We do not cease to exist at death; we relocate to another place. How can we prepare for death if we deny it? One of Baba's favorite sayings was 'Real gold fears no fire.' I tell Minghua and Shen, we must go through times of testing, but the fire of trails proves what we are made of."
"Fire seems a high price to pay," Ben questioned.
"Purity is worth the highest cost, is it not? God is with us in the fire. Shengjing says our works done on earth can either be wood or hay or straw that will burn in the fire of God's holiness. Or they can be works of gold and silver and precious stones that will be purified in the fire. The choice is ours. If we are faithful, we will come out purer than when we went into the fire. This is why real gold does not fear the fire."

Powerful. As I write those words I am so convicted by Quan's faithfulness. "Purity is worth the highest cost." So much of my life I am like Ben..afraid of the refinement process. Fearful because refinement means change...and change is hard and can be painful.
C.S. Lewis writes "it would seem that our Lord finds our desires (for joy, pleasure, happiness) not to strong, but to weak. We are half-hearted creatures fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who want to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased."
Lewis understands that the longings and deep desires we feel are meant to us point us to the Giver of all good things. Forgive me Jesus for trying to pacify these longings with lesser gods: people, approval, recognition, possessions, the list could go on. I enjoyed the creation rather than the Creator. I enjoy the gifts rather than the Giver.
I am far too easily pleased, and therefore in the same way, far too easily disappointed. I, like the child Lewis is describing, settle for mud pies in the slum, forsaking the incredible vacation offered. When I finally see how filthy I am, I become disappointed that the mud was not all I had hoped it would be.
Jesus knows and understands the deep longings of my heart. He is sufficient, yet I still run after love, comfort, satisfaction, and happiness in all different areas of my life. How easily I forget. How easily I worship tangible things. How easily I forget the very nature of God. Because of my sinful heart I need refinement. I need rebuke. But most of all...I need Jesus.