unbelief

"Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief."

This is a prayer I feel like I pray often, if not daily. I'm learning that so much of the things I struggle with are rooted in basic unbelief.

I don't mean that I won't face any trials if I simply believe, because thats not at all what Jesus promises. What I am saying is that my discontent, worry, anxiousness, jealously, and fear is often rooted in basic unbelief.

Unbelief that delight in God is really better. Unbelief that I have been freed from bondage to sin. Unbelief that God really is going to do what He has promised.

The hard part is not believing IN Christ, it is BELIEVING Christ.

"Christians do not say, 'I do not understand you at all, but I trust you anyway.' Rather we say, 'I do not understand you in this situation, but I understand why I trust you anyway. Therefore I can trust that you understand even though I don't.' If we do not know why we trust God in the beginning, then we will always need to know exactly what God is doing in order to trust Him. Failing to grasp that, we may not be able to continue trusting Him, for anything we do not understand may count decisively against what we are able to trust.

If on the other hand, we do know why we trust God, we will be able to trust Him in situations where we do not understand what He is doing...Faith does not know 'why' in terms of the immediate, but it knows why it trusts God in terms of the ultimate." (Be Still My Soul)

"He will do us good, real good, lasting good, only good, every good. He will make us good, and this is to do us good to the highest degree" insists Charles Spurgeon.

God's priority is to make us good-which is our best good.

The proof of His goodness is at the cross. The guarantee of His goodness in the resurrection.

I believe; God, help me overcome my unbelief. I believe; Jesus help me live like I believe for I know my Redeemer lives.

Far too easily pleased...

songs in the night!

Any fool can sing in the day. When the cup is full, man draws inspiration from it; when wealth rolls in abundance around him, any man can sing to the praise of a God who gives a plenteous harvest. It is easy to sing when we can read the notes by daylight; but the skillful singer is he who can sing when there is not a ray of light by read by- who sings from his heart, and not from a book that he can see, because he has no means of reading, save from that inward book of his own living spirit, whence notes of gratitude pour out in songs of praise. No man can make a song in the night himself. The Christian gets his songs from God: God gives him inspiration, and teaches him how to sing: "God my Maker, who giveth songs in the night."

So, then, poor Christian, thou needest not to go pumping up thy poor heart to make it glad. Go to thy Maker and ask Him to give thee a song in the night. Thou art a poor dry well: thou hast heard it said, that when a pump is dry, you must pour water down it first of all, and then you will get some up; and so, Christian, when thou art dry, go to God, ask Him to pour some joy down thee, and then thou wilt get some joy up from thine own heart. Do not go to this comforter or that, for you will find them Job's comforters, after all; but go thou first and foremost to thy Maker, for he is the great composer of songs and teacher of music; he it is who can teach thee how to sing: "God, my Maker, who giveth me songs in the night!"

It is not natural to sing in trouble- "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy name:" for that is a daylight song. But it was a divine song which Habakkuk sang, when in the night he said- "Though the fig-tree shall not blossom…yet will I trust in the Lord."
Songs in the night come only from God; they are not in the power of man because usually in the night of a Christian's experience God is his only song.

(Charles Spurgeon, Song in the Night pg. 171)

walking on water

As summer draws to a close it is a crazy feeling knowing that this might be my last (gulp) "real" summer. I start my senior year of college in exactly 22 days. I know people always say time flies but I feel like college has given that saying a whole new meaning. I feel like this is a time of my life I wish I could just freeze because I have the best group of friends and community in Chapel Hill. I feel so unbelievably blessed with friends who love Jesus and each other so well.
What am I going to be doing after college you ask? I don't know, but He does. I obsess about the future because I get anxious, and anxiety is simply living out the future before it gets here. The most important things in life center around WHO we are, not where we are.

I have to plan but I also have to remember that men plan but ultimately it's the Lord's purposes that prevails. His, not mine. He will place me exactly where He wants me so I can rest and experience peace in the face of life-changing decisions. It might not be exactly what I had in mind, but as long as I am seeking Him I can be confident that He's already determined how to fit my choices into His sovereign will.
God's teaching me to become more comfortable in the unknown, knowing that for the Lord, there is no such thing as unknown. What a mighty God we serve!

"We must renounce our sinful desires to know the future and to be in control. We are not gods. We walk by faith, not by sight. We risk because God does not risk. We walk into the future in God-glorifying confidence, not because the future is known to us but because it is known to God. And that's all we need to know. Worry about the future is not simply a character tic, it is the sin of unbelief, an indication that our hearts are not resting in the promises of God...So the end of the matter is this: Live for God. Obey the Scriptures. Think of others before yourself. Love Jesus. And as you do these things, do whatever else you like, with whomever you like, wherever you like, and you'll be walking in the will of God." Kevin DeYoung

we are beggers, this is true

Anxiety robs me of my peace. It comes from forgetting that I am not in control. The moments when I have been most deeply in touch with God are those moments when I have been able to embrace my utter poverty. When I accept my poverty, my total dependence on God, I become vulnerable and God can more easily reach me because I’m not busy resisting being reached. When I am not resisting my poverty, I can more easily experience God in other people also, for I am more willing to allow them to minister to me. I am able to sit at their feet.
Until we learn to sit at one another’s feet, we will starve at our lavish banquet tables. (Macrina Wiederkehr)

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you your heart of stone, and give you a heart of flesh...this land that was laid to waste has become like the garden of Eden...I the Lord have rebuilt what was destroyed and have replanted what was desolate. I the Lord have spoken, and I will do it. Ezekiel 36:25-26

Shake off your dust, rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive daughter of Zion. Isaiah 52:2

"Sooner or later you figure out life is constructed specifically and brilliantly to squeeze a man into association with the Owner of heaven. It is a struggle, with labor pains and thorny landscape, bloody hands and a sweaty brow, head in hands, moments of severe loneliness and questioning, moments of ache and desire. All this leads to God.[...] Life is a dance toward God, I begin to think. And the dance is not so graceful as we might want. While we glide and swing our practiced sway, God crowds our feet, bumps our toes, and scuffs our shoes. So we learn to dance with the One who made us. And it is a difficult dance to learn because its steps are foreign." (Donald Miller- Through Painted Deserts)

God is in the business of relentlessly pursuing rebels like me and He comes after me not to angrily strip away my freedom but to affectionately strip away my slavery so I might become truly free.

Overcoming barriers

In order to be people who are "full of grace," we must take great care to eliminate all barriers that stand between the real Jesus and people's false impressions of Him.

Ghandi was once asked why he had rejected Christ. His answer was, "It is not Christ I reject, it is your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

I ran across an article that a mom wrote about her daughter who works at a local diner. She talked about how Sunday's were notoriously her daughter's lowest tip day by far. The mom wasn't necessarily complaining about her daughter not getting much in tips but was merely pointing out the fact that Christians aren't generous.
I'm speaking equally to myself as I write this, convicted by the fact that I often make the excuse of being a college student as the reason why I am not a generous tipper. This is just one small example but it is these daily decisions and actions that reveal our hearts and reflect who or what it is that we really worship. How often I find myself hoarding "my money" when really money is just a tool and resource God has graciously given me to use for His glory. It isn't really mine but you wouldn't know that looking at the way I chose to spend (or not spend) it. Every decision, every tip, every conversation should be used to make much of Him.

"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:4-5